Two Years Ago Today...

• Two years ago today, I sat in a diabetic counseling session so they could teach me how to eat until you came.
• Two years ago today, I went to Applebees and realized I couldn't really eat anything from there anymore!
• Two years ago today, I sat in the waiting room at the doctors office. My worst fear was that you'd be a boy with a pink, girly room.
• Two years ago today, I sat looking at another sonogram, feeling like I did a few years before. A bit nauseous and lightheaded. Knowing something wasn't right, just not knowing what.
• Two years ago today, I had a mini-breakdown while being walked across the street to the hospital. I didn't understand why. I didn't know if you'd be okay. I knew I couldn't lose you. I knew it'd be too much.
• Two years ago today, I was told we were having a baby...in a few minutes.
• Two years ago today, I became a mother to a micropreemie.
• Two years ago today I became a mother to the most beautiful, precious, tiny little piece of life I'd ever know.
• Two years ago today, I couldn't hold you.
• Two years ago today, I fell into a love I could never explain.
• Two years ago today, I became your mommy.

I find myself wondering how many more times I get to rock you at night, while reading you "Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear". I wonder when you won't need me to sing "You Are My Sunshine" until you fall asleep. I wonder when you won't really need me there anymore, you'll be just fine on your own. I know in a flash it will be gone. My little baby has already grown into a little toddler, who will be a 'big girl' and then a girl and then a preteen, and then a teenager (yikes!) and then a young woman. I want to cherish every moment with you, every day. Because in a flash, you''ll be gone. I want to cherish today, and remember that two years ago today, I became the most blessed woman in the whole.wide.world.

Photos courtesy of Jami Ainsworth