So, tonight I was in a pretty foul mood. Avery had about 18 meltdowns in the mall today and I was clueless. What do I do to get her to stop? Spank her in public like a crazy woman? Can't really do timeout in a crowded mall. Especially when every time I *try* to put her in timeout she won't sit or stand where I tell her to. Charlie can get her to mind, for the most part, but I am clueless. I feel like a bad mom. A clueless mom. THAT mom. The one you see in the mall and think to yourself, "Wow. Let's hope she doesn't have any other kids." On top of that, I left quickly without finishing my Valentine's day shopping. So, she won't be getting a cute Dora Valentine's Day card that sings or does something spectacular. A measly Spongebob heart is all I've got for her. Oh, and Charlie, well he didn't even get a Spongebob heart (much less a card). So, I was mainly mad at myself but I just griped out loud. About everything. Then I had ice cream for supper and griped that I keep gaining weight. Because, my life is just so rotten.. right? I mean who has a 2 yr old w/ tantrums? I'm sure I would only have that bad luck. And who eats crap 24/7 and gains weight? Only me, right!?!
Then I happened to come across this blog. I read a few posts and felt sorry for Eva. Then I watched the video. And cried. and cried. and cried. Avery was asleep and Charlie kept asking what in the world I was watching on my phone. I tried to explain through tears but he said if it makes me cry, I should stop watching it. I told him that men just didn't get it. Sometimes women need a good cry. I cried for Eva and her family. But I cried harder because I realized just how ridiculously blessed I am. 'Bad day' shouldn't be in my vocabulary. I'm not going to list the reasons I'm blessed, it just doesn't seem appropriate. But tonight, I owe it to Eva to trade. If someone should be griping, it should be her. If someone should be having a bad day, it should be her. I encourage you to watch the video. I pray it has changed me. And not just for tonight. I spend entirely too much of my time complaining about a magnificent life.
I'm not really onboard with MckMama's 'bold blogging'. Great for her, but for me, crappy days seem crappy enough and I don't want to document crappy stuff. But tonight I am daring to be bold. Hopefully when I wake up in the morning I won't regret it. If any of you get from Eva, what I got from Eva, it will have been worth it. Good night all!
7 comments:
I came across her website today. She's such a courageous young woman. My heart goes out to her and her family.
Hearing of people like Eva truly put things into perspective for us, don't they?
I know that tomorrow you'll have a wonderful Valentine's Day, for as long as we have our health and our loved ones, nothing else really matters. :)
Big HUGS for you and your sweet family,
Beth
but it's SOOO refreshing to see an HONEST view of parenthood though! and i shouldn't even have to tell you this, but you are a FARRR way from being a "bad mom"!!! this coming from the girl who sat in the NICU every night for hours, for over a month, loving on avery until you could bring her home with you :)
and you've shown even more patience now that she's a toddler who has discovered her own will ;) avery isn't old enough to fully verbalize (like we can when we're in a bad mood :) so until then she is just gonna act out like a regular two year old. we all went through it as kids, and thank God for the mothers who didn't kill us when we were that age, lol!
btw, i told daniel that boys aren't supposed to get valentine's...so don't feel bad if you didn't get a chance to get charlie something, lol. you're setting the bar too high! ;)
I agree 100% with Mal, sometimes vent posts are refreshing to other moms! It makes us feel a lot less like bad moms, when we know we're not the only ones struggling with the SAME things. So, no you're definitely not a bad mom...just normal! As for Valentine's, I'm so over Cameron getting stuff, lol. It seems every other month it's a gift holiday. So this year he's getting a card and a box of chocolates, and he got to go on Brandon and I's Valentine dinner last night because of the lack of a babysitter...which was ok since we got to spend time together as a fam outside of the house!
Happy Valentine's Day!
I agree with Mallory and Nicki.
I feel the same exact way with my 2 year old. Like I am a bad mom and Is my toddler the only one who acts this way? So it is good to vent :) We do not think any less of you!
I haven't brought myself to watch her video, but the pics and text was enough for me to be reminded of how blessed I am as well. Makes me want to hug everyone I know realy tight.
I saw her video on Confessions of a CF Husband. So sad, but very brave. Yes, we all complain too much for little reason. You wouldn't feel so bad if you'd seen Shelbi at 2 on steroids. Your mom was one of the only brave souls I could depend on to babysit her during those times. (Tracey was the other.) It was bad, really really bad.
I might have to reference your blogs more and more this coming year with 2 little ones. They are 13 months old (officially in 15 min. lol) and they already have strong personalities and strong wills...kinda scary thinking about what they are going to be acting like once they walk...and can talk more. lol
I was able to watch the video and WOW...that was so touching. I would complain about so many things and then Michael put it into perspective for me when I was complaining about school and he just looked at me and said 'could you stop, I would love to be in school.' (He's not in due to financial reasons and b/c he chose to stay home to take care of the twins) It's not as good of a reason as Eva and the bad things that happened in her life, but it was enough to make me understand that my complaining was unfounded.
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