Not Me Monday!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

1. I did not make a 'Things to Do' list for every day this week with at least 20+ things on each day. I did not explain to my husband that he will be taking at least 25% of this list every day.

2. Today in a frantic rush around Walmart (a 30 min. lunch break goes realllly fast in Walmart) I certainly did not steal an old lady's buggy. I did not walk around the store chatting away with my hubby on my cell phone and look down and realize I had not purchased any yarn or Vagisil. I did not realize that my purse was in my buggy...which was lost. I did not have to retrace my steps, again in a frantic rush, to the other side of the store, where a sweet old lady stood, bewildered, buttermilk in hand and with my lovely buggy right beside her. This sweet old lady did not tell me she stayed there (for at least 10 minutes) waiting because she didn't want someone to steal my purse. I did not walk towards the cash register, with the correct buggy, laughing out loud at myself. I definitely was not 10 minutes late back from lunch.

3. I did not return to work, run to the bathroom and then deliver the mail. I absolutely did not visit all 7 floors and walk by all 600 employees with my zipper down. I would never do that!

4. And there certainly are not 2 boxes of mail left hidden under my desk at work. That would be a privacy violation. I am the privacy audit police so I would never break my own rules when necessary. Never.

5. I am not about to SHOOT my dog (yeah, yeah call PETA, maybe they'll come get him for God's sake!) who has been barking nonstop for at least an hour. I am not wishing I had ear plugs, knowing that if I did have them I couldn't wear them - #1 I can't stand things in my ears and #2 - Hello! I have to hear sweet Gracie if she were to wake up! Why don't they make a pill to shut dogs up? I should take a bottle of Ambien out there. Ughhhhhhhhhhhh!

6. It did not snow in my backyard. No, it really didn't people...I live in the South! Instead, the same dog ripped a pillow (that Charlie insisted he needed) to shreds. There are not thousands of feather covering a backyard w/ a dog yelping away. Maybe he's barking at all the feathers? I know my neighbors must love me...

7. I am not about to stay up wayyyyyy past my bedtime to create a DVD slideshow of pictures of Avery since she was born to play at her birthday that is not THIS WEEKEND!!! Can you tell I'm not very excited about it?

So come on people, I know you all have plenty of things that you didn't do this week. Time to spill em!