Thursday, April 9, 2009

Somebody take me back to 1910!

Daycare, day 4. So, I finally got some sense knocked into me and robbed a bank!

Ok, I didn't but I realllly wanted to. Today was absolutely, positively the worst yet. A little after 10am Charlie calls with the daily daycare dropoff report. And Charlie is a man that very rarely, and I mean very, very rarely cries. And I could hear something in his voice that sounded like he could be close to tears. He said he dropped her off as they were going outside to hunt Easter Eggs. He handed her over and the usual meltdown occurred. He said his goodbyes and left. But when he was pulling out of the daycare he looked toward the playground and saw her, sitting in a corner of the playground, with her empty Easter Basket, bawling her eyes out, as the other kids hunted Easter eggs. And as I type it, even though I've told it to 22 people today, I still cry about it. So, as soon as I heard that I left work and went to get her sandwich tray for the party so I could check on her. I peeped in the room to see my little angel just squalling. I watched for a while and it just broke my heart. The guilt was unbearable. I stood in the hallway with tears streaming down my face, shaking my head like a crazy woman. I just kept thinking, "This is not right. This is not the way it's supposed to be. I HATE THIS!" 

I would like to rewind to 1910. I really would. I would rather not have the right to vote and be Susie Homemaker than watch my little girl react to being taken care of for hours each day by strangers. So, I'm sure all the feminists out there are highly upset with my take on life, but I blame you crazy bra burnin' women for all of my troubles! Dual income families STINK. God meant for us to birth babies and take care of them and our husbands. So that is where I am today. Mad at society. Mad at the daycare. Mad at the teacher. A little mad that Charlie isn't a doctor. Mainly mad at the feminists that got us into this 'equal' mess. Mad...mad....mad. But not as mad as Avery is because her daddy drops her off in a strange building with strange little people and strange big people who let her sit and cry.

We will give it one more week. If huge advancements aren't made next week we are moving on to Plan B. Oh, and I will make frequent drop ins without the requested phone call before I stop by. No more Mrs. Nice Mommy. I mean business!

Here are some more pics from yesterday, taken by Dewana and her very nice camera. And believe me, you can see a difference! The pics are causing me problems...they may end up above this post...ooops.

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9 comments:

Beth E. said...

Bless her little heart! I'm so sorry she's having such a difficult time! Regardless of what we tell you, and the encouragement we try to send to you, this decision regarding childcare is 100% YOURS. You know your daughter better than anyone else! Listen to your gut...follow your instincts...and do what your heart is leading you to do!

I'll be praying for your precious family.

Blessings...
Beth E.

Babymakes3forthesullivans! said...

Oh Casey.. That made me cry. Poor Avery. I think you should definately do some pop in visits. I hope it gets better...

{Louisiana.Bride} said...

Sounds like Day Care stress is getting bad. I'm glad we were lucky enough to have your Mom to take care of us, I just hope everything works like I plan when we have kids. I want to be able to stay home till they are in school. Well we are praying for y'all, you and Charlie are awesome and will make it through this alive. Hopefully Avery will adjust and make it easier and guilt free for you soon.

Martha Compton said...

I'm sorry Avery is having such a tough time. This is my nightmare for next year... I hope it gets better for you as she gets to know the people there!

Stacy said...

bless ur heart.....when i had my first daughter i wanted to be a stay at home mommy so bad!...and cried everyday on my way to work...and she cried off and on all day at daycare too....i know the guilt u are talking about!....i prayed and prayed and six months later God gave me the desires of my heart....i will pray for u all!!

The Glenn Gang said...

This made me cry. I'm praying for you and a solution.

Gabby said...

Poor little girl! That breaks my heart! I worked at a daycare while I was pregnant with my monster and I saw this quite a bit. I will tell you that 99% of the time it gets better. She just has to get used to it. And sometimes it takes time. I feel for you and Charlie having to go through it though. Do what you have to do though, even if that means popping in without any warning and talk to the director if you dont feel like the teacher is doing what she should be.

thekennonfamily said...

I'm so sorry you, Charlie, and poor little Avery are having such a hard time!

I appreciate your encouraging comments about Cam. Having children is a very heartwrenching experience...and a sweet, precious, fulfilling experience, but the worry is awful.

We are planning to be home the weekend of May 9!

Jami Ainsworth said...

My heart aches for you and Little Miss Avery and what y'all are going through. It took Natalie about 2 weeks to get used to daycare and she still has problems sometimes.

I also understand about what you mean about being an old-fashioned stay-at-home mom. It's sort of sad that life changes and our roles have too.

I am sure it will get better one way or another. I will pray for you and your little family.